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Final Destination: ranking the movies in order of quality. Final Destination is the most existential horror franchise of them all.
Its characters don’t get to hope for survival if they can outrun a man with a knife or shoot a zombie square in the head – they’re being hunted by Death itself, and there’s no escape. The Final Destination franchise masks its incredibly bleak message with bright colours and inventive Mousetrap- style killings, but at heart, they’re about how everyone dies one day, and the whole world is out to get you.
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Hardly anyone lives to the end of a Final Destination movie; the ones that do generally have to go to extreme measures, and it’s implied they won’t last long beyond the credits. Given the lack of survivors to tie one film to the next, it’s kind of surprising that New Line and Warner Bros have managed to make five of these movies, but since they have, let’s try putting them into some kind of order…5. The Final Destination (2. No- one’s going to argue with this, are they? The fourth Final Destination film, which inexplicably lost the '4' from its title, is the nadir of the franchise. It’s just arse. The opening scene at the Mc.
Kinley Speedway track pretty much sets the tone. It lacks the wow factor of the opening disasters in some of the other movies, and just feels a bit uninspired. At their best, the premonition scenes in Final Destination movies tap into universal fears, pointing out just how fraught with danger our everyday lives are. But the kind of high speed racing the kids are watching at the beginning of The Final Destination is obviously dangerous. Okay, so crashes aren’t that common, and if you’re a spectator you certainly wouldn’t expect to get horrifically killed at one of those races but it just doesn’t have the same sense of surprise and menace that a huge pileup on a normal road has. It certainly doesn’t feel universal.
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And it all looks rubbish. The Final Destination movies are all about showy, over the top death scenes, but just take a minute to rewatch the opening scenes of The Final Destination. Horrible, no? It looks cheap, and there’s no real variety. It’s just people getting killed by flaming car parts landing on them. The reason everything looks so crap is simple: it was designed to be seen in 3. D. Every kill has something popping out of the screen at the viewer, to the point where the only 3.
D horror movie more obnoxious is Friday The 1. Part III (and even then only because The Final Destination doesn’t have a yoyo in it). Final Destination is a pretty gimmicky franchise at the best of times, and the 3.
D nonsense doesn’t help. It’s a shame, because this film shouldn’t be this bad. It was written by Eric Bress, who also wrote Final Destinations 2 and 3, and directed by the late David R. Ellis, who was also responsible for Snakes On A Plane and the underrated Cellular as well as Final Destination 2.
These guys should’ve known better, and yet, we get an uninspired opening scene, utterly forgettable characters, and a dopey scene that plagiarises Chuck Palahniuk’s grossest short story but sucks out all the horror. As a final insult, Tony Todd doesn’t feature in this movie, at all. Not even his voice. Useless. 4. Final Destination 2 (2. There’s a sizeable jump in quality between The and 2, but that still doesn’t mean 2 is particularly good. It’s overly complicated, and a bit dopey. Watch Pretty Ugly People HD 1080P. But it’s got some seriously great sequences in it, and that goes some way towards saving it.
To begin with, there’s that spectacular pile- up premonition scene at the beginning. Driving is scary, there are lots of things that can go wrong, and that sequence is the perfect distillation of all the worst possible scenarios. I still get nervous if I have to drive behind a van transporting logs, or with a ladder on the roof, or basically anything I imagine could come crashing down and through my windscreen to murder me. Then there are the nightmarishly elaborate kills later in the movie. The lift one is nasty, as is the barbed wire one, and the one with the leftover spaghetti is probably one of the best sequences in the entire franchise.
So why is it so far down the list overall? Well, mostly because it’s overly complicated. Check the credits and you’ll see three writers credited: Jeffrey Reddick, J. Mackye Gruber, and Eric Bress. The credits get split a few different ways, with Reddick credited for characters and story while Gruber and Bress are down for writing the story and the screenplay, but whichever way you slice it, that’s three people working on a story that should be pretty simple. Instead, it’s convoluted. It suffers from a common sequel problem, where the filmmakers are trying to make sure it’s similar enough to the original movie to satisfy the fans while being different enough to stand alone, and the result is kind of a mess.
There are two main things wrong with it: it tries to tie up the loose ends from the first movie but only brings back one of the two survivors; and it hasn’t quite figured out Death’s rules, so makes up some loopholes about pregnancy and order skipping. It’s confusing rather than clever, and just doesn’t feel as satisfying as the first movie’s simple rule that if you’re meant to be dead, you’re gonna die. Final Destination 5 (2. Another jump in quality here; to be honest, there’s not much to set the odd- numbered Final Destination movies apart from one another, and you could probably argue pretty convincingly that any of these three are the best of the franchise. But I have to put them in order or this article will be way too short, so here goes. Final Destination 5 was, like The Final Destination, shot in 3.
D. Somehow, though, that doesn’t make it crap. Also, it attempts to circle back and fit itself into the chronology of an earlier movie, and yet unlike Final Destination 2, it doesn’t feel confusing. It feels, instead, super satisfying. It somehow swerves the pitfalls that those two lesser movies fell for, and also delivers on the spectacle and terror front.
And it’s funny. Somehow, it revived the franchise that seemed to have run out of ideas, and made us all remember what we liked about these movies in the first place. Let’s start with the key disaster, because that’s the beginning of the film. Final Destination 5 delivers another driving disaster, but this time it’s not a crash, it’s a collapse. Which is brilliant. Who hasn’t felt a bit nervous about the stability of the bridge they were walking/driving/riding over? It also allows for some pretty dramatic death scenes, and while there’s still some 3.
D silliness, the effects look considerably more convincing than those in The Final Destination. Also, unlike 2 and The, all the people who get saved by the beginning premonition know one another. It shouldn’t make a difference to the storytelling – actually, having a disparate group of potential victims ought to make for a better film – but somehow the Final Destination movies seem to work better when everyone knows everyone else. Maybe it just makes for a more interesting dynamic when you actually care about the people around you dying. Other notable things about this movie: it includes a death caused by laser eye surgery, which is horrifying; it integrates Tony Todd’s creepy coroner into the plot properly; and it features a character trying out a method of cheating Death that actually might work, and makes sense within the film’s chronology. If the scales of life and death are imbalanced, it seems like there’s a pretty simple way of rebalancing them without necessarily having to die yourself, right?
The twist at the end of Final Destination 5 is oddly brilliant, especially because it’s possible to watch the whole film without picking up on any clues. No fifth instalment in a horror franchise has any right to be this much fun – the credit for the fact that it is goes to writer Eric Heisserer and director Stephen Quale. Nice work, guys. 2. Final Destination (2. Here’s where you’re going to shout at me.